Thursday, March 31, 2011

this place...

i'm back.  *sigh* authentic mama how i've missed you! i've promised a proper update and i've missed a foodie friday, and here i am being authentic saying..."this blog can add stress to my life"  so when i make it to this place, i'll do so with love and pride, and when i don't make it to this place..i don't! simple.
i'm learning how to express myself better.  did you know that i can be a very defensive woman? i can.  so i'm working on that.  i'm working on listening or rather 'hearing.'  what i tend to do, is listen to the first sentence or two and then tune the rest out and work on my rebutal...not the makings of a very successful debate.  so i've started hearing what people are trying to say to me, and sometimes realizing that i need to apologize.  the other thing that i've started doing is owning my feelings.  so if i'm hurt and someone apologizes i bite my tongue and don't say "it's okay" because you know what? it's not okay.  instead i say " i forgive you"  wow! that feels so much better.  ya'll should try that.
the other thing i've been working on is asking for help...especially at home.  i'm the type of person who thinks everyone around me should know what i need just by taking a then there i am multi tasking my a** off and nobody is stepping in to lend a hand, so i start huffing and puffing, or slaming cupboards, generally trying to appear flabbergasted...when really i should just ask for help.  simple.  i also learned that asking for help is okay, and doesn't have to make me feel like i can't cope, especially when the help is presented as a choice.  example:  "would you rather take out the garbage or set the table?"  simple.
the other night i felt like my family was turning into the family i vowed to never become.  television and video games constantly providing entertainment.  hardly any creative games, or artwork being done. never enough time to play with my boys. so i told dan how i was feeling, and after a lot of discussion we agreed to try and make some changes.  the tv hasn't been on since sunday night, we've played scrabble and uno and lego and checkers.  we're making meals together as a family, and i feel great.  i'll check in this weekend and see how the rest of the family has experienced the change...hopefully everyone is happy.

last sunday i ran 18 km and last night i ran 9.  i'm training 4 times a week right now, and it has just dawned on me that dan is going to trade school a month before the race...that's going to make getting out on my runs a bit more complicated.  it looks like my jogger stroller is going to get some use again, and nesta's gonna get some clicks on that mountain bike!  i'm determined to finish my training.

i haven't been documenting my meals this week, partly because dan and i decided we'd do meals together, and partly because i've felt lazy and uninspired...last night we made chilli...but last week, i was still on my kick, so i think i'll post the meals tomorrow and i'll decide if fernie foodie friday lives on after that.

here's some photos from our trip to canmore a couple of weekends ago...

that was just a glimpse of the fun we had that weekend, it was so nice to be back on our old stomping grounds, although i have a renewed appreciation for the sleepy little town that is fernie.  canmore is beautiful, but it has the hustle and bustle of the city that i am always trying to avoid.  having said that, if i had to choose canmore over calgary...that mountain town would win hands down.  the beauty of the rockies is in your backyard!

1 comment:

  1. thanks for sharing tanya
    your honesty smiles and inspires :)